Fire And Ice
by KaseyBeth
Summary: Todoroki shook his head as his father's voice echoed through his mind. He was having a hard time concentrating and an even harder time trying to remember why he was here in the first place... One more hour. He had to get through one more hour… then he could go back to the dorms and sleep. Sickfic. Warning: Vomit, fever, mentions of abuse, angst, flashbacks, cursing


_"Again!" Enji yelled, slamming his fist against the wall, causing a piece of cement to break off as Todoroki dropped to his knees. The 13-year-old groaned loudly as he meshed his hands in the dark grass, digging his fingers into the warm dirt as pain flagged his left side, burning harshly. Sweat dripped from his face as he glared up at his father, hatred masking his features. He winced slightly, forcing himself up, leaning against the wall as the small area spun in vibrant colors, and his father yelled again._

 _Todoroki inhaled, clenching his left hand, looking down at the sweat that glistened against his burning flesh. Six hours. They had been at this for six hours. The teenager grit his teeth as he released his fist, flexing his fingers slightly, stream rising off his knuckles. The wind whipped around him harshly and he glanced up towards the sky, hoping beyond anything, it would rain. He needed something to cool him off. He needed water. His left side burned viciously; his father refusing to let him use his ice._

 _"Again! Shouto!" His father screamed, causing the young boy to flinch slightly. Todoroki took a deep breath and fixed his stare back towards Enji. He felt the skin on his arm beginning to sting, steam following the searing pain coursing through his left side as tiny flames swallowed his fingertips. Something wet dripped from his right hand and Todoroki glanced towards it; tiny water droplets snaked down his arm, leaking from his fingertips… his ice. He was melting his ice. He was losing his…_

 _"Shouto!" Enji boomed. Todoroki clenched his teeth as his eyes met his father's once more. I'm not you, he thought as anger flowed through his veins and fire consumed his left side, scorching the world around him._

The 16-year-old leaned heavily against the cold wall behind him, willing his tired body to stand, fighting the wave of exhaustion that flooded his overheated mind. He swallowed the nausea that coursed up his throat as he glanced towards the arena with agonizing detest. His head spun viciously and Todoroki leaned his head against the wall, squinting towards the sky. He closed his eyes briefly, sighing loudly.

One more hour. He had to get through one more hour… then he could go back to the dorms and sleep. His body pulsed with overheated pain that burned his skin and made his head spin with every movement. He really wanted to sleep. He wanted to lie down. Standing was beginning to get difficult, and the heat that swallowed his whole body was making it hard to concentrate properly. _Stop being so fucking weak… this is what happens when you are weak…_

The teenager felt his knees give and he pressed his back against the brick harshly, hoping that he had enough strength to make it through training, hoping he had enough energy to keep himself from passing out. He felt sweat roll down his face and ran a shaky hand over his forehead, pushing his bangs up as the breeze picked up around him. He let out a soft sigh as the air swept across his face gently. It felt nice.

Something slammed into the wall beside him causing Todoroki to jump slightly, prying his eyes open to the hellishly bright sun, and dirt covered arena in front of him. He let his hand fall loosely to his side as he watched Kirishima and Bakugou trying to tackle each other to the ground. _Stupid._

The teenager shoved his hands in his pockets, swallowing again as his stomach tightened. He groaned loudly as he pushed himself off the wall, taking an unsteady step as the world swayed. He felt himself sway slightly before falling against someone, his knees shaking violently as they struggled to hold up his aching body. Black dots danced in front of his vision as a hand grasped his shoulder, another pushed against his chest. Todoroki blinked slowly, trying to clear the darkness that threatened to envelope him; he took a deep breath as someone's voice reached his ears.

"Are you okay, Todoroki-kun?" Someone asked softly. The 16-year-old turned slightly, noticing for the first time that he had fallen against Midoriya… noticing that the shorter boy was holding him up. The older boy nodded slowly as confusion washed over his face. _Okay? Was he okay? Was he not okay? Did he not look okay?_

Midoriya bit his bottom lip as he loosened his grasp around the Todoroki's arm, dropping his hand from his chest, noting the heat that radiated through the other boy's clothes. Todoroki stood up straighter, willing is body to move… hoping his body would move. He glanced back down at the green-haired boy to still see his worried eyes resting on him.

"S-sorry," Todoroki muttered softly, running a shaky hand through his sweaty hair. He hadn't meant to fall. He just really needed to lie down. He bit his lip, protesting the idea of moving as he pushed his body towards the front, hoping, praying that if he went first, then Aizawa-sensei would leave him alone the rest of the class.

He squinted against the harsh light that filtered in through the clouds harbored in the sky, and shivered despite the uncomfortable heat that swallowed his body. He wanted this to be over. He wanted to leave. He wanted water. _Stop whining boy! Or I will give you something to whine about!_

The teenager shook his head as his father's voice echoed through his mind. He was having a hard time concentrating and an even harder time trying to remember why he was here in the first place. All Might had canceled their sessions today which usually meant the students were cleared for an earlier dismissal… but for some reason Aizawa-sensei agreed to lead their battle strategy lesson. This made everything more difficult considering Todoroki was that much further from sleeping. An hour lecture, a however the hell long battle, a two-hour bus ride, and a whole three flights of stairs, away from sleeping.

He coughed softly, wincing as harsh air scrapped against his already dry throat. He swallowed compulsively as his stomach swirled harshly. As much as he wanted to go back and sleep whatever the hell this was off, Todoroki had a feeling he wasn't going to be getting much sleep tonight. As long as he was still able to make it to class tomorrow, then it didn't really matter much. _You're pushing him too hard! He's just a kid! Let him rest!_ He really wanted to rest. At least for a few minutes…

Todoroki flinched as something exploded behind him, forcing his eyes open once again to the hellish world around him. His head spun in a multitude of colors as the ground shook violently, as sluggish thoughts pushed through his mind in an unclear and unorganized fashion. Had he been asleep? Was class over? What was happening? How the hell had he gotten here?

The 16-year-old took a dizzying step forward, trying to piece together what was happening, trying to figure out why the ground was shaking. Something sharp sliced through his shoulder and the teenager cried out, dropping to his knees, meshing his burning hands against the rough dirt. His nails dug into the harsh ground as he glanced up, his hair shielding his vision momentarily as wind screamed past him, and Todoroki felt something wet dripping down his right arm. He glanced towards his shoulder, watching crimson streaming down his skin, splattering across his hands, flowing between his fingers.

He flexed his arm slightly, surprised that despite the amount of blood that dripped from his shoulder, it didn't hurt. In fact, he felt oddly detached from it… almost like it wasn't his arm. Come to think of it, he felt oddly detached from his body…

Something wet slid off his chin and Todoroki pressed his trembling hand to the bottom of his chin, pulling his hand back to reveal dark red. He slammed his hand back against the ground, fighting to stay upright as his arms threatened to force him to the harsh stadium floor, as he tried to rake through his muddled mind, trying to figure out what was happening.

He shivered again as the ground shook harder. He glanced up once more, seeing a dizzying array of colors dance in front of him. He gulped loudly as nausea coursed through his body and his stomach heaved forcefully. He pressed his lips together, willing himself not to throw up, breathing shallowly through his nose, waiting for the nausea to subside. He really needed to lie down.

"Get up asshole! What the fuck are you doing! Stop being so fucking weak, you half-and-half bastard!" Someone yelled loudly. Todoroki cracked his left eye open slightly to see a blurry image of Bakugou swimming in front of him. He groaned, forcing his other eye open, squinting as the sun stabbed at his eyes harshly, forcing his fevered body to stand on shaky legs. He wasn't going to last much longer. He couldn't last much longer. _Stop being so fucking weak!_

" _Get over here, now boy!" Enji growled, taking a step forward as a 6-year-old Todoroki trembled next to his mother, grasping the soft fabric of her dress in his warm hand. He cried loudly as his father took another step closer, and the boy grasped at the fabric tighter, hoping, begging to avoid his father today. He coughed roughly as his mother pressed a firm hand against his fevered back, smiling sadly down at the small boy pressed against her side._

 _Todoroki closed his eyes briefly as cool fingers ran through his sweaty hair, sweeping his bangs back gently, revealing the ugly cut tearing through his lip from yesterday's horrendous training session. He sighed softly, wiping his nose with the bottom of his shirt as his stomach churned weakly. He opened his eyes, peering behind his father, watching his older brothers wrestling outside; his older sister standing next to them, yelling._

 _His mother stepped forward, unclasping his hand from her dress, pushing him behind her slightly as his father took another step closer._

" _Not today. He's not going today. He's sick," She said cautiously. Her voice wavered slightly and Todoroki reached for her dress once more. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he meshed his face against his mother's leg, his eyes meeting the disappointed look present on his father's face._

" _You think I give a fuck about that? You think villains are going to just take the day off because the boy has the sniffles? You think he's going to surpass All Might if he starts taking days off? He needs to stop being so fucking weak," Enji took a step forward, grasping his wife's wrist tightly, pulling her forward as she tried to stand her ground, as she tried to protect Shouto._

 _The 6-year-old pulled at his mother's other hand, trying to pry his father's grasp from her wrist as dread coursed through his feverish body. His socked feet scrapped against the ground harshly as he pleaded for his father to let go, crying for him to stop. His father smirked, "You see? He just needed a little motivation, is all…"_

 _His mother screamed loudly as something snapped and she fell to her knees, tears painting her face in silent waves as she struggled to break free. Todoroki cried louder, hugging his mother's side tighter as he tried to figure out what to do. His father released his grasp, watching as his wife brought her broken wrist towards her chest. He sighed loudly, grasping his son's arm tightly in his hand, yanking the small child from his mother._

" _You see boy. This is what happens when you are weak. Other people get hurt…"_

Todoroki blinked slowly as he studied the commotion around him, analyzing the movements, his brain trying to piece together everything, trying to figure out why the ground was still shaking. It took him longer than it should have to realize the battle had started. From the looks of it, he and Bakugou were paired together. This, Todoroki gathered, by the endless threats and curse words that were flung in his direction. He could safely assume, through his tired mind, that they were losing. This probably had something to do with the fact that Bakugou was doing all the work while Todoroki stood motionless in the middle of the battlefield, trying to connect the dots.

He let out a shallow breath as Bakugou yelled at him again, and ran a shaky hand through his hair as everything suddenly sped up. He ran towards the nearest wall, slamming harshly against the gray ceramic, peering around the corner, trying his best to see who they were fighting. He glanced around the small arena, wondering just how long they had been in battle considering the stadium was a disturbing mess of rubble. He coughed roughly, choking down dusty air as his headache pulsated, pressure building behind his eyes. He just wanted to sleep… and maybe some Tylenol wouldn't hurt…

Something slammed to his left and Todoroki turned slightly to see Bakugou standing next to him, sweat dripping from his face as he let out a heavy breath. He sucked in a harsh breath before pointing his finger towards Todoroki's chest, "Are you even going to help me out? Or are you just going to fucking watch the clouds, you bastard! I'm not losing against those two nerds and Deku, you hear me!"

"Deku?" The name pushed past Todoroki's dry lips as he peered around the wall once more, trying to spot Midoriya. _Two nerds… three? Three against two? Unfair… but not impossible._

"Yeah asshole. Deku. What the fuck is your problem today!" Bakugou shook the other boy's shoulders violently. Todoroki's world flipped and he felt his knees starting to give out beneath him. He coughed roughly, pushing Bakugou away quickly as he doubled over, his stomach lurching violently as acidic vomit spewed past his raw throat. He pressed his burning hand against the cool surface of the wall, taking comfort in the cold that connected with the steam rising from his left hand. He coughed again, bringing up another wave of pre-digest food and stomach acid, holding his shaking body against the wall, trying to keep from falling face first into the soiled dirt.

He ran a shaky hand across his mouth as his eyes connected with Bakugou's, a few feet away. His body was swaying violently and he clenched his fists, trying his hardest to remember where he was, while the fire that swam through his veins burned him from the inside out. He straightened his back against the wall the best he could, "W-what's the obj-objective?"

The blonde stared at him, "What's the- are you fucking kidding me! You-"

Something exploded behind them in a multitude of bleak colors, sending pain shooting through Todoroki's head as darkness took over.

…

Pain was the first thing he registered as he pried his eyes open. Nausea was the second. He groaned loudly as he blinked slowly, scrapping his aching hand against the rough dirt of the stadium, trying to find something familiar through the smoke and dust that hung in the air. He coughed, looking around the arena as the ground shook again, and huffed slightly as hair covered his eyes.

All he wanted to do was fall back into the welcoming abyss that had swallowed him moments ago, but voices surrounded him, screaming, yelling, pleading. Suddenly his mother was kneeling beside him, tears rushing down her face as she yelled something towards him. He reached a bloodied hand towards her, hoping to grasp onto the soft fabric of her dress, but no matter how far he forced his hand, she was too far away. She would always be too far away.

Todoroki cried as his vision swam again, his mother no longer kneeling beside him. He wanted her back. He wanted to see her again. He knew this pain wasn't her fault. It never was.

The teenager winced loudly as he pushed himself off the trembling ground, rubble and dirt falling off his aching body as he forced himself to stand. He glanced around the battlefield, noticing the random buildings that once littered the field, laid helplessly in pathetic messes. He ran a hand down his face, wiping away the remaining blood that still flowed down his temple lazily.

Something moved in the distance and the teenager squinted, trying to make out the shape of the 30-foot monstrosity moving towards him in the distance. The ground shook harder as his knees buckled and he smacked against the ground harshly. He pressed his hands against the bloodied dirt as he looked to his left, freezing slightly as he saw Midoriya and Ochako lying a few feet away from him. Were they hurt? _You see boy?_ _This is what happens when you're weak… people get hurt…_

He pushed himself up on instinct. His body protesting every movement as he forced his feet to inch closer towards whatever the thing was that was running towards him. He stopped a few hundred feet in, looking around weakly, hoping no one was in harm's way… hoping Bakugou and whoever else, wasn't near him. Wind soared past him, smacking against his overheated face, as cold washed through Todoroki's body, as cold washed through his right side. He let out a sigh of relief as his fevered body flooded with pure ice, and for a moment, just a moment, everything was alright. He flexed his right hand, watching ice coat his arm gently, waiting for the monster to get closer… waiting…

Water slide down his right arm, dripping from his fingers quickly as Todoroki watched in horror as the ice that was beginning to form over his burning skin, melted as quickly as it appeared. _This wasn't good. He was too hot. His body couldn't form ice… Mom…_

The teenager bit his lip as pain seared through his left arm, steam rising off his already burning skin, flames surrounding his fingertips. _I'm not you_ , he thought. He raised his left hand slightly, watching the fire swallow his arm, burning against his skin, sweat dripping down his overheated, swaying body. _This was too hot. Everything. Everything was too hot. He was going to die. He was going to be swallowed by the flame… but if it meant he could save Midoriya, Ochako, Bakugou, and whoever else… then it was worth it. It had to be…_

Footsteps pounded against the ground as Todoroki looked up, his eyes meeting his father's disapproving ones. Flames exploded from his arm as he dropped to his knees weakly. Tears slid down his dirty face, evaporating into smoke before they could gather at his chin, as his eyes continued to stare into his father's smirking face. Fire engulfed him, drowning him in a burning hell, leaving his father's words echoing in his head as the heat swallowed him whole. _Stop being so fucking weak._

…

 _Fire burned against his skin, scolding his face as flames burned over his left eye as he continued to scream. Tears ran down his cheeks as he grasped at the scorched flesh, pressing his forehead harder on the ground, digging his hand into the wet mat below him. Hands pried at his arms, trying to pull him up, trying to pull his right hand away from his eye; whispers trying to calm him down as he sobbed again._

" _Shouto! Honey! I'm so sorry. Honey, I-I'm so sorry," His mother chanted over and over as she grasped at his hand again, trying to pull the boy's trembling fingers away from his face; trying to see. The 10-year-old screamed again as footsteps pounded against the ground and Fuyumi ran in._

" _I screamed for dad, he's coming!" She yelled loudly, kneeling down next to the crying 10-year-old. Todoroki flinched as his sister pressed a hand against his back, running her hand through his hair as she tried to calm the crying boy. The boy looked up slightly, his eyes meeting his mother's, sorrow and fear painted in her eyes as she glanced towards her son, then at the empty kettle on the floor._

 _Tears rushed down the boy's face as he reached for his mother, pulling his right hand away from his burning face, pressing his trembling hand against the ground as he tried grasping the fabric of her dress. His sister gasped loudly as she glanced towards his face, pulling his hair away from his forehead to get a better look at the bright red burn covering his left eye._

 _The door slammed open causing their mother to stand quickly, pressing her back against the wall, bringing her hand to her mouth as she looked back to Todoroki._

" _What the hell have you done!" Enji yelled, glancing at the sobbing 10-year-old on the floor. He took a step forward, grabbing his wife's wrist as Todoroki tried calling for her; tried pushing his burning body off the floor, weakly. He reached for her again, wanting to grasp her soft dress, wanting her to comfort him… wanting her to stay. He flinched, his mother screaming loudly as Enji yelled at her again, "what the fuck have you done to him!"_

 _His mother let out a loud cry as Enji pushed her against the wall, slamming his fist next to her, "Shouto! Shouto! Honey! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! Shouto-"_

 _The 10-year-old pressed his forehead against the cold mat below him once again as fresh tears dripped down his face as his mother continued to scream. He couldn't save her. He was too weak. This wasn't her fault. None of it was. This wasn't her fault. It wasn't..._

It was hard to breathe. The air surrounding his body was thick and heavy; his lungs trying to force what little air he could get down his burning lungs. The air scrapped at his body roughly, lying on his already too hot skin in a thick layer, reminding him, painfully, that he was still alive. The air was burning. Everything was burning.

Sweat glistened against his forehead, flooding down his pale face as he slowly came too. Shivers wracked his body and his stomach flooded with overwhelming nausea as he tried opening his eyes. Everything was on fire. There was no cool breeze. There was no ice. There was no salvation. Just fire. Lots and lots of fire.

He pressed his head harder against the solid surface he was leaning against as his stomach cramped violently. Something rattled around him and his body jerked slightly; his head bouncing against the hard surface harshly. Noises echoed around him and something bumped into him lightly, followed by hushed voices as Todoroki tried to piece together, for the hundredth time, where he was.

"Is the bastard fucking dead?" Something poked him roughly and the 16-year-old tried to pry his eyes open once more. No avail.

"Leave him alone Kacchan. He saved our asses. Let him rest, he doesn't look great."

Someone laughed loudly, "Yeah, that's because Bakugou had to drag him back to the bus…"

"Ah! Fuck you Kirishima! The half-and-half asshole is heavy!" Someone yelled.

Something slammed into him from behind and Todoroki groaned softly as his stomach churned. He wanted to go back to sleep… if that's what he had been doing. He wanted quiet. He wanted the burning that was encasing his whole body to stop. He pried his eyes open slowly to Midoriya's worried face swimming in front of him.

He blinked sluggishly, realizing he was on the bus, leaning against a window… maybe, he wasn't really sure. Everything was fuzzy and unclear, hard to pinpoint. He squinted as Midoriya's lips moved, but no words made it to Todoroki's ears. The teenager leaned forward, clutching his stomach tightly as his body lurched violently. He felt a gentle hand on his back as he took a shallow breath, trying to calm his aching stomach, sweat flowing off him in endless rivers. _Stop being so fucking weak!_

Todoroki turned to his left slightly, slamming his eyes closed tightly as Midoriya's face shifted and morphed, distorting into his father's. _You're okay. You're okay. Just breathe… What the fuck was happening!_ The 16-year-old pried his eyes opened slightly, confusion flowing through his body as he stood, swaying violently, in the middle of the crowded bus. How the fuck had he gotten here! When did he stand?

Todoroki backed away slowly, his breathing coming out in ragged puffs as his eyes fixated on Aizawa-sensei rising cautiously at the front of the bus.

"Todoroki-kun?" Midoriya asked softly. Todoroki peered to his left as a hand grasped at his shaking one. Heat streamed from his body and the world around Todoroki shook violently in a dizzying array of yellows, grays, and reds. The teenager opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. He couldn't talk. He couldn't think. He couldn't breathe.

A loud noise sounded in front of him and Todoroki jumped, turning back towards the spot Aizawa-sensei had been several minutes ago. The teenager sucked in a pained breath as his father stood a few feet in front of him, his hand outstretched towards Todoroki, concern painted across his face. Todoroki shook his head slowly, gripping the edge of the seat next to him, burn marks forming in the dark material. His father took a step forward. _You will be better than All Might! You hear me boy!_

Todoroki swallowed harshly as he slammed against the metal wall behind him, pressing his burning hands against the cool metal, feeling for something, anything that could help him out, help him remember. His heart was racing violently as his knees threatened rebellion, as his stomach lurched and Todoroki let out a loud cry as his father stepped forward, panicked worry masking his features. _Stop being so fucking weak!_

"Get the fuck away from me!" The 16-year-old yelled, sweat pooling down his face as stream rose from his fingertips. His father said something softly and Todoroki shook his head as Aizawa-sensei's voice matched the words formed by his father's lips. The teenager coughed roughly, feeling the metal behind him begin to burn as his stomach heaved violently, forcing him to his knees.

Todoroki pressed his hands against the ground, surprised to find metal surrounding him as his stomach lurched again, bring up a wave of stomach acid and vomit. He sucked in a ragged breath as the cramps in his stomach tightened and he let out a pained cry as another wave of slimy bile spewed past his cracked lips. He flinched, feeling a hand on his back and Todoroki pushed them away forcefully, slamming against the wall behind him.

Vomit dripped from his mouth, sliding down his chin and the teenager ran a shaky hand over his mouth, trying to stand on legs that refused to stand. He grasped the metal wall, pulling himself up, tears falling from his chin as everything swam around him in an off-kilter vibrancy. Stream rose from his knuckles, pain coursing through his left arm as his father held his hands up slowly. Todoroki ran a vomit-covered hand through his sweaty hair, wiping at the sweat beading across his cheeks; his hair matted to his forehead, sticking up in all different directions.

Someone screamed loudly and the teenager jerked his head quickly, taking a shaking step forward, letting out a pained sob as his eyes connected with his mother cowering next to his father. He sucked in a fast breath, trying to force oxygen into his lungs as his pulse raced quickly. His brain trying to grasp at any explanation it could; trying to figure out where he was and what was happening.

"M-mom?" The teenager cried softly, taking another unsteady step towards his mother, wiping at the tears that fell from his eyes. His mother smiled sadly, pressing her right fingers against the burned flesh around his eye, tears forming in her eyes. She sniffed loudly, cool fingers pressed against his forehead, running through his hair, and Todoroki let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes. _God, how he had missed her._

Something grasped his hand and Todoroki forced his eyes open, yanking his hand back, his eyes meeting his father's. The teenager shook his head, forcing his head up through an aching daze as he searched for his mother, trying to find her. Tears swelled in his eyes as he realized she was no longer around. She would never be… not anymore. He pressed his hands to his head as his vision faltered and he was met with the scared and worried eyes of his classmates. _No! Where was he! What's happening!_ _Why was everything on fire! Where was his mom!_ The teenager pressed his sweaty back against the cool metal, slamming his head against the frame behind him, his vision swirled and he turned towards his father as the elder man took another step forward, his eyebrows raised. Anger and hate surged through Todoroki's body and he shook violently, his fists clenching.

"Why did you take her! Why did you take her from me! I only had her, and you took her!" The boy cried loudly, his knees buckling as he fell to his knees, pressing his burning hands against the rough metal on the ground. Tears flooded his eyes, streaming down his cheeks, splattering against his aching hands, as he glanced towards the moving ground. _You're a disappointment. You're mother made you that way…_

He heard his father step closer, and bit his lip, no longer caring if he was mad. No longer caring what was happening. He couldn't take this anymore. He couldn't take anything else. Everything was unclear and fuzzy, muddled and wrong. And Todoroki felt wrong… he felt broken, dizzy, and melted.

"Todoroki, I didn't-" His father said softly. _I forbid you to see her again! Do you understand me boy? Stop whining, or I'll give you something to whine about…_

The 16-year-old shook his head again as his stomach groaned. He glanced up slowly, coughing loudly, "You did! You took her! She went away and I had no one! Because of you I'm alone! Because of you I'm a monster! I," Todoroki sucked in a shallow breath, looking back down at his hands, watching bloody water flow over them. He jerked his hand up, horror masking his face slightly as he tried shaking off the blood that was coating his hand. Water dripped down his arm, coating his sleeve, and the teenager bit back a scream as he scratched at it harshly, trying to tear it away from his burning flesh. Black filled his vision for a moment as his body tensed and Todoroki felt a hand grasp his arm, pulling him down.

The teenager screamed, his vision swaying as he tried to pull his arm from his father's hand. Todoroki tried yanking his hand away, prying Enji's hand from his wrist as the grip tightened, and his father laughed. Blood seeped past his fingers as pain surrounded the boy's wrist, blood oozing past his father's thick fingers. The teenager cried loudly, trying to squirm away, "Pl-please. Please. I-I don't want to be like you! I don't want to be you-"

Fingers slid under his burning chin lightly, forcing his spinning head up gently. The teenager swallowed thickly as his eyes met Aizawa-sensei's tired ones. Confusion crossed Todoroki's mind as he retched loudly, bringing up nothing but foul-tasting saliva and harsh hiccups. His arms seized intensely and his right shoulder smacked against the ground painfully, and Todoroki found himself staring up at the dull gray ceiling above him.

Soft fingers ran through his hair and Aizawa-sensei filled his darkening vision. The floor spun beneath him and the 16-year-old groaned loudly as questions raced through his fevered mind. Black dots danced in front of him as multiple Aizawa-sensei's wavered above him, forming several then one, several then one. A gentle hand pushed his bangs back as darkness flooded Todoroki's mind and he closed his eyes, welcoming the bitter, cold darkness. _Stop being so fucking weak… You're just like your mother._

….

" _Mom?" Todoroki asked softly, running a hand through his hair. The 8-year-old was sitting on the edge of her bed, watching as she cleaned one of the cuts on his left leg. He flinched slightly as she pressed a wet towel to the battered flesh. His mother laughed softly, "Yes?"_

 _The boy bit his lip, looking down at his hands, "Will I ever be like dad?"_

 _His mother's hand trembled slightly as she set the rag on the ground. She let out a quiet sigh, wiping at the tears that had begun to prick her tired eyes, and slid her fingers under her son's chin, forcing him to look at her._

" _Shouto, I want you to listen to me," She said sternly, running a hand through his hair, "You might have his power surging in you… but you also have mine. Your father will never understand that. Despite how many times you use his power, you will always have your ice, you will always have me… you can be anything and anyone you want to be… no matter what."_

 _She thumbed at some of the tears that slid down her son's cheek, smiling sadly at him. She swallowed softly, "Honey, your father can't choose the type of man you'll become… only you can…"_

… _Please come back, Mom. I still need you…_

Silence. Silence filled Todoroki's ears as he opened his eyes slowly to the intense white surrounding him. His eyebrows furrowed slightly as he blinked a few times, trying to figure out where he was, how he had gotten here, and what had happened. Everything was jumbled and mixed in his mind, hard to piece together, even harder to remember. The last thing he remembered… class... or the bus ride to the stadium, maybe?

He groaned loudly as he brought a hand to his head, surprised with how slow his movements were. He stared at the object protruding from his hand, and it took him several moments to realize it was a needle. He sat up slowly, glancing around the small room, noticing the IV bag hanging next him, the white walls surrounding him, and a thin blanket strewn across his exhausted body… he was in the hospital. Why?

"You lived," Someone said softly. Todoroki jumped, turning towards the door, confusion masking his tired features as his face met Aizawa-sensei. The teenager nodded gradually, "Was I dead?"

Aizawa shook his head gently, pulling a chair next to the bed before sitting down with a loud sigh. He straightened his black shirt, shifting his wraps slightly, pulling them away from his mouth as he cleared his throat. He ran a hand through his hair, letting it trail down his face before looking back up towards Todoroki. The teenager shivered slightly as Aizawa stared at him intently, the gaze unnerving and off-putting.

"Not technically," He stated dully, "But you came really fucking close."

Dread weighed in Todoroki's stomach heavily, and he crossed his arms over his stomach, leaning against the uncomfortable pillow behind him as he let out a soft, "Oh."

His eyes studied the harsh lines etched into the white ceiling above him and he wondered how the cracks had formed. They looked almost unnatural, as if put there by a student…

"You're a smart kid, Todoroki," Aizawa sighed, "At least that's what I thought… Do you even remember what happened?"

Todoroki forced his head off the pillow and turned to face Aizawa-sensei. The 16-year-old shook his head slowly. He couldn't remember anything… just being scared, and angry… and broken. He shuddered as Aizawa let out a loud yawn, "Yeah. Recovery Girl mentioned you might have a hard time remembering… Todoroki, you caused a lot of trouble for a lot of people. You put yourself in danger, you put those around you in danger, a lot of danger. All because you acted selfishly, irresponsibly, and idiotically."

Confusion crossed the teenager's mind again as he glanced down at his hands. Exhaustion flooded his body as he tried to force himself to remember everything; trying to figure out what he had done. He flinched as Aizawa's chair scrapped across the ground, emitting a loud noise that filled the tiny room.

"You're supposed to be smart. You're supposed to be better, but then you go and fuck it up with something like this. I mean, do you even realize that if you had lost control, if I hadn't woken up, you could have killed all of us?"

Todoroki raised his head quickly, wincing as the white room swam in front of him dizzyingly. He gulped loudly as his heartbeat quickened, a million questions racing through his mind. "I didn't lose-" The teenager started softly.

Aizawa-sensei shook his head with a disappointed gaze, "No. Iida woke me before you had a chance to smite us all."

"Smite…" He whispered. He was having a hard time placing this word; he knew it but for some reason his brain wasn't processing it properly.

"I don't have room in my class for recklessness, Todoroki. Tell me this won't happen again. If you can't, then I can't help you. This school can't help you," Aizawa pressed. The teenager lowered his gaze, and winced. The disapproving tone in Aizawa-sensei's words hit him hard and the teenager sucked in a shaky breath. He nodded slowly, "I-I'm sorry, Sensei."

 _This is what happens when you are weak… people get hurt…_

The blanket that covered his lap, felt heavy and hot, itchy against his legs. The teenager swallowed thickly, pressing his back against the pillow behind him, bringing his aching knees towards his chest as Aizawa sighed loudly.

The sun outside that bled through the window, darkened softly and Todoroki wondered how long he had been here… how long he had to be here. He didn't want to be here anymore. _You'll be here however long I tell you boy! Now get up! I said, get up Shouto!_

Todoroki let out a soft cough as his hands shook slightly, his father flashing across his mind, his words echoing in his head as he tried to recall the meaning of smite. _Smite… smite… strike… pain…pain…fire. Fire. Dad…_

The 16-year-old sniffed loudly as he hugged his knees to his chest. He dug his fingernails into the warm flesh, trying to convince himself that it hadn't happened, trying to convince himself that he hadn't used fire as everything started rushing back to him in over stimulated waves. He felt tears prick his eyes and wiped at them with his shoulder roughly. He let out a shaky breath before asking, "I used it, didn't I?"

Aizawa was quiet for a while and Todoroki welcomed the silence, hoping, praying that his Sensei had left. Aizawa cleared his throat roughly, "Yes."

The teenager nodded slowly, closing his eyes, pressing his tired head against his knees forcefully. He felt sick. He felt wrong. He hadn't meant to use fire. He didn't want to use it. He hated using it. He felt something wet trail down his hand as his stomach lurched violently and he swallowed compulsively, trying to control his breathing as the stadium flashed in front of him.

"Todoroki…"

The 16-year-old shook his head, wincing slightly as his fingernails dug deeper into his thighs, his hands wet and sticky with what he could only assume to be blood. He let out a shaky breath before choking down heavy air. _Your father can't choose the type of man you'll become… only you can…_

"Shouto."

Todoroki looked up slowly, sniffing loudly, realizing he was shaking, realizing he was crying. He let go of his thighs, wiping the tears on his cheeks with his hands roughly, before glancing down at his fingertips, blood embedded under his nails, painting down his fingers. He wiped them with the bottom of his shirt, realizing afterwards he had stained the innocently white fabric, red.

Aizawa-sensei let out a loud sigh, pressing his lips together in a disapproving frown as he glanced down at the blood drying on the white material. He ran a hand through his black hair, "Shouto, you're not weak."

The teenager raised his head slightly, his gaze meeting Aizawa's. Aizawa shook his head, "Today was the first day I saw you have control of your left side…"

"What?" Todoroki breathed, the word barely making it past his mouth.

"During the battle, your body couldn't produce ice. Recovery Girl said it was because your body temperature was so unregulated, you were running a high fever, so the ice was melting as quickly as it was formed. You must have realized that at some point. Instead you used your other quirk," Aizawa stood gently, pulling the chair back, letting it screech across the ground, "When the smoke cleared, Bakugou and Iida found you unconscious, the robot burnt to hell… besides that portion of the stadium, that was the only thing that had been burned. So, all-in-all, you're anything but weak… and you are learning control. It will just take time."

The 16-year-old sat frozen, swallowing loudly as his mind processed the battle. Everything was still kind of hazy, but he remembered seeing Midoriya and Ochako… and he definitely remembered Bakugou. Todoroki leaned against the pillow, allowing his body to slide down the bed softly until his head pressed against the hard-feathered cushion. He sighed loudly, feeling his body relax, feeling exhaustion wash over him, realizing just how spent he felt. _Time. Time. It would just take time… you are learning control._

Aizawa stood in the doorway, flipping the light switch as he nodded towards Recover Girl, sitting a few feet away. He cleared his throat loudly, turning back towards Todoroki, "I expect you to be in my class first thing Tuesday. You have a lot of explaining to do."

Todoroki nodded slowly, running a heavy hand through his hair. Aizawa reached for the door handle, letting the door squeak loudly as he started to close it. He sighed loudly, throwing his head over his shoulder, "Oh, and Todoroki… We're the product of our parents, kid. But we aren't our parents."

Tears swelled in the teenager's eyes as the door clicked shut softly, and he scrubbed his arm over his eyes, forcing them away. He sighed loudly, turning over on his aching stomach, as exhaustion flooded his mind, and he closed his eyes, drifting into a willing sleep.

" _I said get up boy!" Enji yelled loudly, kicking dust towards the 15-year-old, kneeling on the ground. Todoroki's shoulders tensed and he coughed loudly, sucking in a ragged breath as he struggled to stand. He winced as the world was suddenly upright, the pain from his swollen ankle surged murderously and his left arm burned even more so. He couldn't do this anymore. His body couldn't take it. He wasn't sure how long they had been at this, but he was done. With everything._

 _The teenager took a swaying step towards the road, hoping he had enough strength to find his way home… or at least to his sister's. His father yelled loudly, and Todoroki flinched as flames shot past his face, barely missing his hair. "Where the hell do you think you're going! Shouto!" Enji screamed._

 _The 15-year-old continued walking, ignoring the pain coursing through his body as his mind suddenly realized it was over. He clenched his fists as his father's voice reached his ears, the grass around him beginning to smoke. "I'm done," Todoroki whispered, forcing his body past the heat that was beginning to surround him, "I'm done with you. With everything. I'm never going to become you."_


End file.
